The Left Path
by cainepwnsnoobs
Summary: When Sam and Quinn plan to go surfing together, strange occurrences begin to happen after they fall off a cliff...
1. Chapter 1

Sam was going surfing. With Quinn, of course. It was warm outside, the sun was shining bright and the water was clear. Sam was exited to be surfing, since it had been 4 months since he had gone surfing. _With Quinn_. _Sigh_.

"Yo dude! What up?" said Quinn, slyly.

"Oh, you know. Nothing really. We're about to go surfing, so I'm kinda happy…"

"Aww that's so nice!" said Quinn. "We should skip there!"

And they skipped to the beach together.

They arrived at the beach. Then they went surfing. There were fish everywhere! But that's not the point. The point is that Sam was cheating on Astrid. With Quinn.

"Ugh." Sam said.

"What's wrong?"

"Well, you see, I'm cheating on Astrid with you, right? But I kinda like Astrid, a little, but I like you more, so I'm kinda confused about what to do…"

Quinn was silent for a while. Then he patted Sam on the head and gave him a hug.

"I need to get my hat." Quinn said.

Then he left to get his hat. A few minutes later…

"ARGH!" screamed Sam. He couldn't get his shoes on.

"What the hell?" said Quinn, who had his hat on, and was looking rather smart and chic.

"I can't get my shoes on!" said Sam. "Help me?"

"Umm, okay then…" Quinn walked over to help Sam get his shoes on when Sam fell backwards off the rocks. "AHHHHHHH!"

But Quinn caught him.

Then they both fell.

Kersplash! They landed in the water.

"Aww man this sucks." Quinn said.

"Agreed."

Suddenly they heard footsteps.  
"Hey! Help! We fell down here!"

Drake looked over the cliff. There were fish everywhere, but that's not the point. He then noticed two people in the water. They were yelling. It was **Sam** and Quinn! Drake hated Sam! He didn't like Quinn either. Suddenly his mind drifted to delicious milk chocolates. He went to go find some.

"Hey, was that Drake?" asked Sam.

"Yeah I think it was."

"Why was he at the beach?"

"I don't know"

They swam. Then they encountered a whale.

"Oh my God Sam help me there's a scary whale there! Save me!" said Quinn trying his best to hide behind Sam but that's hard when your in the water. So he just grabbed his arm. Then they swam away from the whale.

They arrived at a shoreline where they got out of the water. But they didn't know where they were. Some foreign forest by the beach, had 3 paths in it. They could pick the left path, the centre path, or the right path. Quinn had a very expert idea of dealing with this.

He threw a stick, and whatever way it pointed that's where they would go.

The left path….

It was kinda creepy.

They were scared.

They began walking, and encountered many things. Then the path ended in front of a school.

"OMG is this Coates?" said Quinn.

"Omigosh I think it is!" Sam replied.

It was. There were fish everywhere, but that's not the point. They looked closer and saw a kid with a tentacle arm eating chocolate. That meant it was Drake.

Drake was eating chocolate when he saw **Sam** and Quinn. Again.

He yelled, "Why are you guys following me? I just want to eat my chocolate in peace!"

"We don't have any chocolate in Perdido Beach!" said Quinn. "Where did you find it?"

"Well you see, Caine and I fell down a well and went to a magical fairy land." He said in a sing song voice. "The fairies loved us and gave us chocolate. Then we climbed a giant beanstalk and found our way home. Then Caine left. Now I am eating the chocolate."

"Why isn't Caine eating any chocolate?" asked Quinn.

"Because he gave it to Diana so she would like him better."

"That's a logical answer!" said Sam.

"…Go away." Said Drake.

"But I've never been too Coates before!" said Sam.

"You should give us the grand tour!" Quinn exclaimed.

Drake stared at the strange sight of the two strange surfer dudes holding hands. Should he say yes? It doesn't matter cuz he did. But first he pulled out a tour guide hat that said Coates Academy Rocks! and put it on his head. Because that's where hats go.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey! Swell hat, Drake!" I screamed.

"Oh thanks, Quinn!" Drake said "I bought it at Wal-Mart. There were fish everywhere, but that's not the point. The point was that it was on sale!"

"Can we just go?" said Sam, rather impatiently.

"Somebody's cranky…" I said.

And so we went into Coates, with Drake leading the way.

First we stopped at the gym, where we encountered Bug doing an intense workout.

Drake was all like "Hey Bug! Whatcha doin?"

And then Bug was all like "An intense workout."

And I was all like "I didn't know you were trying to lose weight! Maybe I should lose weight too!" I need to look good in my summer bathing suit…

And Sam was all like "Oh Quinn! Shut up! You look fine!"

Then we all laughed. Except Drake.

"Geez Drake! What's your problem?" I'm not telling you who said that.

"I'm having acute pain in my left shoulder, so I don't find things funny."

"Pain isn't cute, Drake!" said Sam. "It sucks."

"_Har har_" Drake said. "Very funny, Sam."

Then we left the gym so Bug could finish his workout with Richard Simmons.

We went into the hallway to go on with the tour when Sam FELL!

"Ahhh" Sam said.

"Oh no!" I screamed and grabbed his arm, falling in the process.

Drake laughed.

"Why are you laughing? Sam bruised his knee!"

"You guys are so gay…"

"At least I don't have Gwen Stefani as my ringtone!" said Sam in a huff.

Just then Drake's cell phone rang playing "What You Waiting For"

He threw it against a wall.

"I do not!" He screamed.

Sam and I flew into a giggle fit.


	3. Chapter 3

After Quinn and I were done laughing we continued on the tour.

"Where should we go next?" asked Drake.

"You pick Quinn!" I said.

"No you pick, Sam!"

This went on for a bit, simply because I _love_ talking with Quinn, until Drake said,

"Were going to the library." In a frustrated tone.

"Why the library?" asked Quinn in a whiney tone.

"Cause we have an indoor fishing pond there!" Drake said in an excited tone.

There were a lot of tones. My favourite was Quinn's but that's not the point.

So off we went to the library!

"This is the checkout desk! It's much like a chameleon, in which it changes colour!" said Drake.

Someone had apparently painted it with magical paints!

We then went to the digital media part. Actually, we skipped there. It was fun. There were a lot of Wii games there. Especially Cooking Mama!

:OMG lets play Cooking Mama!" said Quinn. And of course, anything Quinn wants to do I want to do. So we played Cooking Mama: World Kitchen.

What's surprising is that Drake pwned us.

He made a Strawberry Niceness Cake.

Quinn made a Hamburger. It was the best.

I made salmon. There were fish everywhere, but that's not the point. The point was that I burned it.

Then we went to the second floor. That was where the pond was. When we arrived we saw Caine fishing. Whenever he caught a fish he would fling it out the window.

That's how the fish were everywhere!

"Caine!" screamed Quinn.

Caine said nothing and proceeded to chuck fish.

"CAINE LISTEN TO QUINN WHEN HE TALKS TO YOU!" I screamed.

Caine said nothing and powerfully wafted a fish out the window.

Drake then nonchalantly pulled out a wig matching Diana's hair and put it on. Then he said "Caine."

Caine turned around with a grin but quickly wiped it off his face with a wet nap.

"Geez, what's you're problem!" said Caine.

Drake took off the wig and replaced it with the hat. Then he whipped out his psych file and threw it at Caine.

"That."

Caine fell over.

Then he got back up.

"Why were you throwing fish everywhere?" I asked. I hate my brother.

"I was throwing fish everywhere?" asked Caine in a confused tone.

"Yes." Said Quinn.

Then me and Quinn high fived.

"What the hell?" said Caine. "Why did you just high five?"

"Because we can." Said Quinn.

"No you can't" said Drake.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because it's illegal at Coates. It promotes violence. Let's go!"

"Where?" said Quinn.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	4. Chapter 4

**Caine POV**

"We must go to the lab!" I said.

"Why?" said everybody simultaneously.

"I have no reasons for my actions I simply would like to go there." I said. I used my amazing voice.

"Okay." Said Drake.

So we went to the science lab. Drake felt the need to tell everybody about the pictures on the wall instead of talking about me. Meh…

"So this picture was painted by Stan Knoe. It is a tree representing communism."

"Why does it represent that?" asked Sam.

"Why don't you ask Stan, you gay koala! Moving on."

We then saw a pretty picture of socks. But it wasn't as pretty as me.

"This represents life on Mars."

"How" asked Quinn.

"Don't talk to me I don't want to get STD's from you!"

"I don't have STD's Drake…"

"Yes you do you got it from the dirty fish."

"What?"

"That's right, you… bus…"

"I'm not a bus!"

"Yeah Drake. Quinn's not a bus! Stop insulting Quinn!"

"Shut up Sam!"

I was about to say something awesome, but Drake interrupted me.

"So this painting is of a G.I. Joe. It was painted by Renardo Zucchini and represents the particles of matter in space."

"No it doesn't." Said my brother Sam. "It represents tigers!"

"Okay. I have taken time out of my busy schedule to give you a tour of Coates Academy and all you two keep doing is being rude and giggling at each other's pet names!"

"You have a busy schedule? What do you do?" asked Sam.

"Uhhh….. you know… umm…. Playing the Sims…"

"OMG you play the Sims? Me too!" said Quinn.

"So here we are at the lab!" Drake said, exasperated.

So we all walked into the lab. And there was Diana!

"Oh my god it's Diana! I didn't think she'd be here! What a surprise!" I said. Geez, my voice is cool.

"Oh hi." Said Diana.

Wait a minute. Why was she not excited at my mere presence?

"Umm, hello?"

She looked up from her TeenVouge magazine.

"OH MY GOD HI CAINE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I MISSED YOU LIKE SOOO MUCH!"

She then hugged me.

_Hey Caine. Can you, like, come to me? I kinda have need of you? I don't know if you noticed but I'm kinda hungry. In the dark…_

"HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HELL DJdnsajHfbjdwklbvqVDJLGWB?"

That scared me so much I said words that weren't real. Cause' I'm awesome.

"What in the heck was that Caine?" asked Drake.

"Oh my gosh are you okay my little bucket of love muffins?"

"Yes. Yes I am. I am Caine Soren, after all."

"Aww." Said Quinn.  
"What is it?" asked Sam.

"Seeing that spectacle of true love made me think of you Sam!"

I was a little confused at this, but hey, I'm distracted by me.

"Where should we go next?" asked Quinn.

"We should go to the computer lab!" said Drake.

And so we went to the computer lab.

TO BE CONTINUED…

But first…..

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ITS ALL ABOUT ME CAINE SOREN I RULE OH YEAH MM HMM THAT'S ME CAINE I AM TRULY AMAZING OH YEAH ME ME ME!


	5. Chapter 5

**Diana's point of view is not going to be about her, really.**

**DIANA POV**

And so off to the computer lab we went!

We walked and Caine walked in an amazing Caine-like way.

Drake stopped us to talk about the wall.

"See this wall? It's amazing!"

"No it's not! It's ugly like a duckling in a fire!" said Sam.

Drake then pulled a bike out of his pocket and began beating Sam with it.

"Hey! You can't do that to Sam!" screamed Quinn.

Something weird happened next.

"CHARACTER TRANSFORMATION MAGIC FISHERMAN GAY LOCKET GO!" he screamed.

He magically transformed into himself with a fishing hat. A giant tackle box appeared magically and Quinn pulled a guitar out of it. Then he smashed it and parts of it got on me.

"Oh my gosh are you okay Candy-Caine?" I asked.

"Pfff. I'm way too amazing for a gay guitarist to hurt me. But that's not the point."

"Oh really? Well then." Said Drake.

Then all hell broke loose.

"CRAZY SCENE BOY MASCARA MADNESS!" he screamed.

An explosion of hot pink and electric blue revealed Drake wearing rainbow cheetah print Chucks, black skinny jeans, a blue tutu, a hot pink shirt with yellow stars and a blue rabbit, shoulder length stripy handsocks, black nails and spiky black and lime green hair with a fringe and rainbow eye makeup with intense eyeliner.

Followed by 5 minutes of awkward silence.

"Oh yah? Well check this out!" said Caine.

"ADAM LAMBERT GLAM NATION LEATHER STRUT!"

After an amazing 3 second smoke and light show he transformed into an Adam Lambert lookalike.

"Dude, what the heck are you wearing?" asked Sam.

"Well… I got my boots on… and the right amount of leather…. And I'm doing me up with a black colour liner…"

I screamed, "Ahhhhhhh!" and then transformed.

"PREPPY PREPPY PREP CHEERLEADER GO!"

Then I was a cheerleader for Team Caine! Caine instinctively leaned away.

"Wow. This is a really mad world." He said.

"Sam! You need to transform! Don't be left out!" Quinn said.

"Okay then."

"CRAZY GAY LAZER BOY GO!"

And then Sam was dressed like the cat girl from Mew Mew Power.

Then I fainted. But I got back up. But that's not the point. The point is that Sam was wearing a dress.

Followed by 9 more minutes of awkward silence.

Then Quinn said, "HERPES FISH GO!"

And slapped Drake with a fish.

"Eww." He said. "EMO TEARZ!'

And Quinn started to cry purple tears. It was weird.

"Hey! Don't make Quinn cry!" Said Sam. "LAZER… Beam…. Hands…."

And he shot light out of his hands. Again. For like the hundredth time.

"Wow. Nice going there." I said. And I did a back flip. "DEMON POM POMS! GO!" and then pom poms with teeth attacked Sam. Caine must have felt left out because then he said, "MAYBELINE VACATION!" and music started playing. And he started singing "If I Had You""

I started freaking out.

"Oh my gosh Caine!" I screamed and hugged him.

"Sorry. I don't date girls in stripper heels."

"Shut up, Caine! Everyone knows your just here for our entertainment" Drake said.

"Oh my gosh! What do you want from me?"

"I'd like to get to the computer lab!"

"Okay then let's go."

So then we went to the computer lab to find Jack yelling at a keyboard.

"Ahh! These words! What do they mean?"

"Hey Jack! How's it going?" asked Quinn.

"I can't understand these words! What the hell does asdfghjkl mean?"

Then he actually saw us.

"Uhh… what are you guys wearing?"

Then Caine started singing "I'm Here For Your Entertainment" And he and Drake began dancing a well choreographed dance.

"Wheeeeeeeee!" I screamed.

Suddenly we were in my greenhouse.

"Ehh? What? This isn't part of the tour?" Drake said, with mascara running down his face.

"Diana… where the heck are we?" asked Caine.

"It's my greenhouse of YOU Caine!"

Then they all noticed that the greenhouse was only growing sugar cane.

"Uhh, why is it filled with sugar cane?" asked Sam.

"Because that's what Caine's face tastes like when you bite a chunk out of it!"

"And you know this, how?" asked Caine.

"Uhh….."

Then Penny arrived.

"Hey! What'chu doin in mah greenhouse?"

Then she exploded!

"What the hell?" Drake said, smiling.

"I don't know. Let's leave now." Sam said.

"Hey! We should go to the psychiatrists office!" Drake said.

So we left, along with the marvelous Caine!


	6. Chapter 6

Oh and all characters and setting go to Michael Grant.

And the song sung later is "I like a boy in uniform" by The Pippetes. Also theirs.

**DRAKE POV**

So we walked out of the greenhouse and began our trip to the psychiatrists office.

But first we changed clothes. (but we kept the hair and makeup)

Sam and Quinn randomly started playing volleyball.

Sam won. But that's not the point. The point was the volleyball broke a window that lead into Panda's old room. Then ghost Panda came out!

"Ahhhhh!" we all screamed.

"Hey! What'chu doin all volleyballin' like dat G?" he said and then exploded AHAHA!

"Oh my gosh are you okay Caine?" Diana yelled to Caine who was staring at his reflection in a broken piece of glass.

"Well, my eyeliner smudged a bit…"

"AHHH NOOOOOO!" she screamed again.

Then we were in the psychiatrists office.

And Sam crashed into a lamp AHAHA!

Quinn threw a fit and ran to Sam and helped him up.

I pulled a pointer out of my pocket and directed their attention to a chart about gender preference.

"Awwww Sam." Said Quinn.

"What?" asked Sam.

"This chart! It's nice! It's about being honest about your gender preference and not letting anyone tell you that you're an icky monster who likes guys!"

Then they kissed. Caine freaked out and had a spasm on the floor AHAHA!

"What?" asked Quinn who was holding Sam's hand.

Caine stood up and said, "Wait… you guys… what? I… you guys… just.. what the heck just happened?"

"Didn't you know? We're in love!" said Sam.

"I thought you were dating Astrid!"

"Well I am. But it's just a cover."

Caine then began seizing. AHAHA!

"Yeah! It's true! My Sam's a player! Uh huh!" said Quinn.

"Oh and Caine on this subject…" I said.

Caine stopped seizing and looked at me with suspicion. "Yeah?"

"I have something you must know."

"Uh huh…"

"It's kind of big news."

"OH MY GOSH JUST TELL ME NOW!"

"I'm bisexual!"

Caine freaked out a bit more. He momentarily stopped and so I started singing.

"I LIKE A GIRL IN UNIFORM SCHOOL UNIFORM! I LIKE A BOY IN UNIFORM SCHOOL UINIFORM! I GUESS NOT EVERYTHING IS UNIFORM SCHOOL UNIFORM! I WANNA KISS EVERYONE IN UNIFORM!"

Diana exploded AHAHA!

Then Caine looked down at his **school uniform** and ran away.

The he came back wearing normal clothes. But that's not the point.

I was offended.

"Gosh Caine! I'm not into you!"

"Oh good. That's a relief." He said.

"Wait… why not?"

"Uhhhhh….."

"Oh my gosh Caine that's a cute top!" said Sam.

He was wearing a swoop-necked navy blue sweater.

"Oh my god it is!" said Quinn.

"I feel violated…" he said.

"Well you guys need to go now!" I said.

"Why?"

"My boyfriend is coming over."

Aaaaaaand Caine freaked out again.

"What the hell? Who's your boyfriend?"

"Marcellus Vivar."

"…Who?"

"He's a fourteen year old time traveler from the 1800's."

"But I want to meet him!" said Quinn.

"You can't. He hates people with herpes."

"But I don't have herpes…"

"Shut up you bus! Go away!"

So they left. But that's not the point. The point is Marcellus is here and I have to go now because were going to make pancakes on the barbeque on the roof. Bye!

**GAIAPHAGE POV**

The kid at Coates Academy was being weird, so I made him throw fish everywhere.

SOOOO HUNGRYYYYYY! in the dark LOLS!


End file.
